It's the light

Most people have something about themselves that they don't like. Whether it's a weight thing, or a face thing, or a hair thing, or something entirely different, most people will have something they're not totally comfortable with. Their own personal kryptonite if you like. Most days you can just get on with it and not really give too much of a shit about that bit that you don't absolutely love, you ignore it and go out and have a great time.

Yesterday was not one of those days.

I woke up in a great mood, had a shower, got dressed, did some work. Then I decided I wanted to go out. Now at the minute I'm trying to give my skin a bit of a break from makeup; I'll still fill in my eyebrows and do eyeliner, mascara and lipstick and maybe add a bit of eye shadow if I'm feeling it, but that's it. So I did what I usually do. Except I hated it. To me, my skin looked awful, it was grey and creased and dotty, and I felt like my makeup just highlighted that. My brows looked too dark and uneven, my eyeliner wasn't how I wanted it to be and I felt like I looked like shit. It was all I could see when I looked in the mirror. So I took it all off. 

I started again, except this time, despite my whole trying to feel comfortable with my skin and giving it a break blah blah blah thing, I started with foundation. I thought it would make me feel better, and spoiler, it did...until I did my eyebrows again and I felt like every little dent in my face was screaming at me. So I added some concealer, there we go, sorted, skin's looking okay. So I did the rest of my makeup, complete with contour, blush and a fuck tonne of highlight because oh yes if I'm ruining my skin with foundation may as well go the whole hog and achieve that ethereal insta-perfect glow.

So I thought I looked alright, I was actually quite happy with myself. Then I stepped out of the bathroom and caught my reflection in the full length mirror that stands opposite my wardrobe. Fuck I looked like shit. My blush was too bright, my lipstick wasn't totally perfect, my eyebrows weren't as 'on fleek' as I wanted them to be. I almost took it all back off again. Almost.
Instead I stood in front of my window and opened instagram front camera, highlight on point, eyeliner as even as it was ever going to be, hell I even quite liked how my skin looked. I moved back to my full length mirror and just like that it all looked too much, and I hated it. I went back into the bathroom and it switched again, I was so bloody happy with how my eye shadow has blended.

So I took some snapchats, I took some selfies. (Just, in front of the window, not the mirror) 

And I went out.

Because, I'm not going to let not looking good from every angle or in every space stop me from having a nice day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has days where they don't particularly like how they look (yes, even those perfect beyond words insta queens) and that's okay, in fact, it's completely normal, it's part of being human!

And even if you think you look shit,

it's not you, you're just standing in the wrong light.